Okay, kids, let's put on our thinking helmets for a Pop Culture Quiz!

"Pro-life" Republican state Rep. Tom Hackbarth is detained by police after pulling into a Planned Parenthood clinic with a handgun in his waistband. (You know how those Feminists--so unlike the rest of us--get nervous when someone drives up with a pistol in his underpants.) He says he was just trying to track down a woman he'd met once through the Internet because he suspected she was seeing another man, and he didn't know where he was. Glad he cleared that up.

Multiple choice: Right now, the woman whom he was attempting to stalk is thinking to herself:

(1) "Ooh, that's SO macho/manly/studly/gangsta, just like the last Country/Blues/Rap/mainstream song/video/movie I listened to/watched in the theater/on VH1/Fox/Hallmark. He must really love me!"

(2) "Hmm, he really turned me on because he told me he carries a handgun AND is vehemently anti-abortion--but he doesn't have the Planned Parenthood locations memorized? What kind of a loser/fake/wannabe/dweeb/GOP hanger-on IS this guy?"

(3) "I'm torn. Tom seemed so cool, but Freddo has bigger biceps and a deeper voice and makes a lot more as a bouncer, and says that he votes Democrat only because everyone in the Family does."*

(* Apologies to bouncers, restaurant employees, and rank-and-file unionists everywhere, that is not aimed at you. It's aimed at Mafiosi. If you're in the Mafia and are still offended, please just leave the horse head on the doorstep, we'll see it in the morning.)

(4) "Wow, now I'm even more glad that I came to that first date with pepper spray in my purse and was able to walk away after the two minutes it took to read Hackbarth as a total Red Alert wacko."

(5) Essay answer __________________________________ (have some fun)

//www.startribune.com/politics/local/110518619.html?elr=KArksUUUoDEy3LGDiO7aiU